I don’t think that just anyone can
really understand what music can mean to someone in a really terrible
situation. Obviously, those that are
going through it understand it because they are the one’s living it. I am
talking about those who don’t need it. The one’s that have found other methods
of coping. Healthy or unhealthy, it really doesn’t matter. They just don’t use
music to do it. Now, those of us that do you use music as our coping mechanism
understand. They understand when I say that I love a band. They know that I don’t
just mean their music, but each and every member. That I watch interview videos
as much as the music videos. That band members are my backgrounds on my phone
screens. They truly know why I need them.
Now, those
who don’t understand are the ones I would like to address at this time. To you the
obsessiveness we show for these bands is silly. I have been told that, “You don’t
even actually know them. Why do they matter so much?” It’s true that I don’t necessarily
know them on the level I know my family or close friends, but that doesn’t mean
I don’t know them. Bands put everything they have into their music. Every
heartache, late night, or fight goes into their lyrics. I am not talking about
pop artists here because let’s be real most of those assholes don’t even write their
own music, but I digress. That is not what I want to talk about. I know these people
because I relate to them through their lyrics. When Kellin Quinn wrote about
being abandoned by his father in A Trophy Father’s Trophy Son you bet your ass
that I related to that. My father left me when I was very young. I know how
that feels. Isn’t that the same type of connection you get from friends or
family when you talk to them. Just because it’s a different form of communication
doesn’t mean I don’t know and understand them.
The
other point that was brought up to me was that I use music as a “crutch.” How
on Earth can music be a crutch? I have always thought of music as my inner
voice. Whenever someone asks me to explain how I am feeling, or what I am
thinking I can never find the words, but I can always find a song that explains
it. Music allows me to deal with my emotions is a safer way than what other
alternatives are out there. I could be addicted to drugs, or I could be on a
million medications, but instead I listen to music day in and day out. I obsess
about my favorite bands. I spend all of my money on band tattoos and concerts.
If it helps me to deal with my stress and emotions in a safe way. I don’t think
of it as a crutch, but simply a coping mechanism for the world around me.
Again,
I am at a loss for words. I wish there was someway for me to explain what music
and bands mean to people like me, but I just don’t have the appropriate words
for it. Of course, I know someone who does. Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low said,
“Loving a band with all your heart is something you understand when it happens to
you. On the surface, others can see it as a petty obsession, but they’ll just
never know the feeling of putting so much faith into a few people on the other
side of the world. It’s hard to explain it to them, the listening to a song
after song on repeat, the waits for new albums, the excitement and surreal sensation
when you finally get to see them live. They don’t understand why the lyric booklets
give you a sense of comfort, or why you past photos of them all over your
bedroom walls. And they can’t understand why one band could matter so much. And
you think to yourself, ‘because they saved my life.’ But you say nothing, they
wouldn’t understand.” This pretty much
sums up everything that I was trying to say. I apologize if this felt
disconnected, or nonlinear, but I had to get these feelings out.
